What’s Your Hurry, Friend?

For a second there, I thought I might write my blog today about the reported Republican overtures made to Dallas Mavericks owner and reality TV star Mark Cuban to run as a third-party candidate against Donald Trump. I thought I might say that it makes perfect sense — this year — to run another celebrity for president. My only thought was: With so many other qualified reality TV stars to choose from, why Cuban?
But naw. I didn’t feel like getting political today.
Then I thought it’d be interesting to write about the Norwegian woman who claims she is actually a cat trapped in a woman’s body. Yes, this woman says she’s been a cat her whole life and that the human body she walks around in is a “genetic defect.”
But I’m not gonna say anything more about it. I already said I don’t want to get political today, and if I wrote about this “catwoman” I’d have to consider what might happen if, instead of being Norwegian, she were a public school student in America today. Would President Obama force our public schools to provide litter boxes in every bathroom?
Oh, let’s see. What can I write about?
I noticed on my Reuters sports wire this week that LeBron James has inked a deal with Nike reported to be worth more than $1 billion. Well, being the proud capitalist that I am (sorry, Bernie Sanders fans), I say more power to him. But I have to confess that sometimes capitalism can be embarrassing. I mean, has this shoe thing gotten out of hand, or what?
Well, shoot. I’m afraid I’ve wasted half my column already talking about politics and social issues. I’d really rather talk about the old Andy Griffith episode I watched on TV recently where the people of Mayberry went to church on Sunday and heard a visiting pastor say they should take a break from the rat race and enjoy life a little more. “Relax. Slow down. What’s your hurry?” he said.
So Andy and Barney and Aunt B and Opie sat on the front porch that afternoon and let the day just drift away. It was a nice episode to see, after all these years.
We should do more of that. The world has gone insane. Why must we join the parade?
Take a step out on the front porch, have some lemonade and stretch your feet. Take a deep breath.